Should You Financially Support Your Adult Children?

[Yusra3]

You've set them up for success by nurturing big dreams. Now with adult kids navigating careers or advanced academics, witnessing any struggles to stay financially afloat tugs at your heart - and purse strings. But how much direct financial involvement in their young adult lives fosters independence versus dependence?

Completely cutting off kids could communicate a lack of confidence in their potential or dismissal of very real economic challenges facing today's graduates entering the workforce. Then again, indefinite allowances or unchecked assistance well into adulthood risks enabling financial immaturity rather than cultivating grit.

Rather than take hardline stances on either side, consider modulated support when the following conditions apply:

- They’re actively furthering future earning potential through higher education or specialized training programs

- They responsibly discuss financial scenarios, goals and action plans with you

- They exhibit accountability making reasonable efforts to also work and contribute

- They demonstrate financial competence regarding budgeting, spending and impulse control in available resources

Essentially if viewed as a “stepping stone” phase rather than permanent state of dependence, offering measured help for adult children to attain the next rung on personal growth or career ladders makes sense for limited periods. Agree upon timelines or trigger conditions after which the training wheels come off.

Bailing kids out from repeated credit card debt or indulgent lifestyle choices of course warrants intervention by expectation setting, not enablement through ongoing rescue funds. Similarly, supporting adult children at the expense of your own retirement readiness crosses concerning lines. Find balance.

While empathy and periodic assistance show care for family, don’t mortgage personal financial health in the process. Compassion lies in arming kids for success and self-efficacy, not indefinitely prolonging dependence.

 

[Holicent]

I would say it's fine but it depends on individual circumstances sometimes. You should make them independent, but consider important needs. Check their contributions towards standing on their own and help them work on unexpected events. Be plain about financial discussions and assistance. Balancing support and making them responsible is important. Know your financial state and try to set boundaries to avoid making them dependent. Well, this is personal decision that involves you and your child's growth and your financial health.

 

[Mika]

My parents paid my education fees as well as living costs until I passed from the university. I saved some money from the monthly allowance I received from my parents and used that money to enroll for vocational courses. In our country, it is very common for parents to support adult children until they start earning. However, it is also very common to see children supporting their parents once they start earning money. Just because kids are adults does not mean parents do not have responsibilities.

 

[moonchild]

Well, I think this very much depends on what we mean by being an adult, is it young adulthood or mid, I think after uni any kind of assistance is voluntary and shouldn't be taken for granted, parents should teach their kids life skills early in life, and not pamper them and make then adult babies.

Personally, I won't support and adult child, immediately after uni an adult should start taking responsibility and start taking care of themselves, i think shelter is okay, but anything from that is basically pampering the child and they'll grow without any sense of responsibility in their lives.

 

[Etini]

I live in my own apartment. My parents don't really give me personal money like that but they support me in ways that are equivalent to giving me money. I work and earn but hardly a week passes without my parents sending me food that would take me three days or so.

I don't foot my health bills because my own dad sees it as a lifetime responsibility to cater for my health. This last year, my dad gave me a part of my rent even when I did not ask him. I think when you try to show financial independence, your parents would want to help you financially because all these financial favours is coming after I started showing financial independence.

 

[Augusta]

For me adult children should be taught how to fish and not given fish They should be given future earning potential security like putting them through higher education or specialized training programs. So that when done can start making their own money.

-Parebts can support by responsibly discuss financial goals and action plans with them. Let them know how to plan their financial lives.
They need to know how to exhibit accountability making reasonable efforts to also work and contribute for their financial wellbeing.